Wednesday, November 12, 2008

If At First You Don't Succeed

So I don't know if this is going to be relevant to anything, but I'm going to write it anyway. I've been thinking about being a little more balls-out about life recently. This isn't to say that I'm walking around with my testicles hanging out of my pants, but rather that I'm going ahead and doing things instead of thinking about doing them and never getting around to it. What I've found is that when you try a lot of things, a fair number of them fail.

I hate losing. I hate failing. I hate outcomes that I am not satisfied with. Yet it seems that coming to terms with my recent results has been easier than other times. Why is this, you ask? Because I've lowered my expectations. This is probably not the best way to approach life, but when you're trying new things you can't expect everything to go your way all the time. It simply isn't possible. Or it is actually possible, but the likeliness of it is so low that it isn't possible in practical application. Anyway, I'm hoping my net yield from this will be better than all the lost opportunities that passed me by in my non-action.

So what if I fail? None of my failures have been confirmed yet, so I don't know if I'm actually a very successful individual who feels like I've failed. Whatever. If it was all for naught, should I try again? Or is it the kind of situation where you give up and change course, try more things and see what happens then? I mean, balls-out means that I should do what I want to do as long as the consequences are not too serious. Balls-out means I should go for the gold. Balls-out means that it's not important if it's hard to pick myself back up or get started, and I should just do it.

I just hope I don't end up screwing everything up for myself.

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