Personally, I like carpet a lot. Hardwood floors can be nice, but carpet has a certain charm that hardwood lacks. It's cushiony, and easy on the feet. It never gets too cold, so when you hop out of bed on those cold winter mornings, it isn't such a shock from your warm, soft bed.
Beds, on another note, are amazing as well. Getting out of bed is the worst part of my day. If it was possible to stay as comfortable as it is while in bed and continued about my daily business, I would never get out of bed, and become fat as my muscles atrophied. Then I would end up like those people on the Discovery Health channel who get fork-lifted out of their homes to go to the zoo to get MRIs and hospitals to get their stomachs stapled.
But I digress.
Carpets also are a convenient way of moving dead bodies (or so I've heard). What you do is put the dead body at one end of the carpet and roll up the carpet, so it looks like it's just a rolled up carpet with nothing in the middle. It's like a human cigar, but you can't smoke it because it's too big (that's what she said?). However, you need a sufficiently large carpet, not attached to the floor. If you roll up a body in a doormat, somebody is going to see it sticking out the ends, unless you're disposing the body of a midget.
Flying carpets are very cool as well. Though not as common as the Persian rug or wall-to-wall carpeting, they are highly regarded. Fuel-efficient, these carpets are a highly convenient way to get from Point A to Point B. Typically, you avoid all the traffic, as you are flying, but it can be awkward during the migratory periods of birds if you happen to encounter a large flock.
Cynics would argue that rugs are not as great as I have suggested. They are, in fact, lying. There is nothing wrong with rugs, but only with the people that misunderstand them and treat them poorly.
For instance, nay-sayers could provide the example of what they call "rug burn." I say it is the human at fault. Carpets are soft and forgiving. It is the humans who inflict pain on themselves by attacking the carpet with excessive force. The carpet is gentle, and likes being caressed, as does anything else.
Another example is vacuuming. Pessimists say carpets, like other floor surfaces, have to be habitually cleaned. I say we are at fault. If we humans were not such beastly, messy creatures, we would not have to clean the things we soiled.
Carpets are great. They should be instituted in places where they are not, as they make for a more pleasant walking experience.
On another note, I'm bored. I wrote about carpets because I was in need of inspiration, and as I looked around the room, I saw my carpet and was like, "Wow, carpeting is really cool," so I wrote about carpets for the last few minutes. It probably wasn't the best way to spend my time, but let bygones be bygones and sleeping dogs lie. Rolling stones gather no moss, and it's hard to find a needle in a haystack, unless you're a super powerful electromagnet and it's a steel needle.
Hope you enjoyed my inane musings. I'm not sure if I even did. Anyway you just wasted a couple minutes reading the result of my wasted time. Congratulations, you are now a more enlightened person. Or slightly stupider. Not totally sure which.
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