DUCK!

So my linguistics professor doesn't have very many examples, so he just reuses them. One of his four or five examples for lexical ambiguity is the sentence, "I saw her duck." It's ambiguous because duck can be a noun or a verb, and there're some other things too, but then it would get hairy and I don't really want to explain it. Anyway, I was thinking about this sentence a little bit and I couldn't figure out where the verb "duck" came from if it wasn't the animal. Then I though, "Hey, maybe there are other unexplored verb possibilities derived from other animals! I should write a blog post about this!" So now I'm writing a blog post about this.

Here's a scenario: You're walking down a side street of a large city with a couple of your friends, just after dusk, on your way to dinner. You need to cross the street to get to the restaurant, but it's directly across the street from you and there isn't a crosswalk. Because you're in a large city, the blocks are relatively long, but since there's not too much traffic, you decide it's going to be easier to jaywalk than to cross at a crosswalk like you're supposed to. As you begin to cross the street, your friend yells:

Option 1: "DEER!"
You turn around and find yourself facing a pair of bright lights, getting bigger very quickly. The lights are horrifying, yet fascinating, and you can't look away, let alone move; the lights have mesmerized you, and you're rooted to the spot. With a glorious "CRUNCH!" and an explosion of blood, bone and flesh, you disappear.

Option 2: "FROG!"
You turn around and find yourself facing a pair of bright lights, getting bigger very quickly. As they get nearer, you run a little farther across the street, only to see another set of headlights heading at you from the opposite direction. With the grace of a matador, you step out of the way of the second car, leaving mere inches between you and an untimely demise. Slowly weaving your way across traffic, two steps forward, one step back, you make it to the other side of the road.

Here's another scenario: It's fourteen and a half years in the future and we're on the brink of World War III. Iran, North Korea, Saudi Arabia, Lebanon, Tahiti, Lesotho and Djibouti all have nuclear capabilities now, and they all hate the US for letting China colonize the moon. One day, as you're hoverboarding along the sidefloats (since nobody walks on sidewalks anymore), you hear the air raid sirens go off. You start to head towards the nearest subway station, but it's too late. You hear the low rumble of the ballistic missile closing in on you, and suddenly there is a bright flash of white. Someone yells. "COCKROACH!!" and you continue about your business, miraculously surviving the radioactivity in the fallout.

Here's another scenario: You're a floor trader at the NYSE and the bottom is falling out of the economy. You hear someone yell, "CHIPMUNK!" Suddenly, you start scrambling around like a madman, selling all the stock you can and stuffing your cheeks full of cash for safekeeping. You can't trust the banks these days.

Here's one last scenario (for now, at least): It's a balmy 73 degrees in June in Martha's Vineyard, and you're standing under a white tent just off the beach in your Sunday best. You're at a wedding reception. There's booze flowing freely, happy people surrounding you. Men are wearing their seersucker suits and pastel shirts and some of the women are wearing large straw hats with their silky, summery sun dresses and $400 heels. The band announces that they're going to start their last set; the party's slowing down. While you're embarrassing yourself on the dance floor, the frontman of the band walks up to the microphone and says, "Folks, it's about that time now. RABBIT!" In a flurry of hormones and champagne, the dance floor empties as couples make their ways to their cars and happy endings to a glorious evening of revelry.

If you've got other animal suggestions (and definitions), I'd love to hear them. That's all for now. Rabbit.