A Conversation

"So, what's going on?"

"Not too much. You?"

"About the same. Who are you?"

"I'm a voice in this kid's head. You?"

"The same. Except a different voice. Kind of surreal, isn't it?"

"Indeed."

"Why is this kid writing down a conversation he's having with himself in his head? He must be a total nut-job."

"Nah, I think he's just super bored again. Like, the last time he was this bored, he created this blog to log his thoughts. Maybe he's just doing that again now."

"Ahhhhhh, I see. So we are yet another diversion from this guy's essay that is as of yet still incomplete. We should do something about this."

"I agree. But what can we do? We are merely nameless voices in abstract space being transcribed to the internet for random people to never read! We have no power over the productivity of this person in which we are unfortunately trapped."

"Au contraire, my hypothetical homie. We have ultimate power over his actions. However, he also, by the same logic, has control over us, as we are his conscious thoughts. What we really need is his subconscious. Where is he??"

"Probably chillin in the back of his mind somewhere. You know how he is, all brooding and secretive. Always hiding."

"Indeed."

"I concur."

"Did you just concur with me agreeing with you?"

"Maybe. What's it to ya?"

"You're an idiot."

"Maybe that as well. What point are you trying to make?"

"I have no idea where I'm going with this, but I feel like you don't either, so it really doesn't matter. What should we talk about now?"

"I like pie."

"Everybody likes pie."

"I disagree."

"On what grounds?"

"Not everybody likes pie."

"That's not true."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't. I have never met anybody that does not like pie."

"Are you sure?"

"No, but nobody I know has refused pie when they were offered it."

"Then you don't actually know that everybody likes pie."

"Yes I do. It is physically impossible to refuse the deliciousness that is commonly called pie. It is a wonderful creation and should be loved accordingly."

"I don't like pie."

"Liar. You're eating a pie right now."

"Maybe I am. But I don't like it."

"Then why are you eating it?"

"Because it's there."

"That's the dumbest reason to eat pie ever."

"If it is, then why would people ever climb Mount Everest?"

"Because it's there. Maybe you've got a point. But after you eat it, it won't be there and you wouldn't have had to eat it."

"Yes I would've."

"No, because after you've eaten it, it's no longer there."

"Yes, but it was there while I was eating it."

"And after you've eaten it, there's no proof that it was ever there in the first place. How am I supposed to know that you've eaten a pie you didn't like or want if it's no longer there?"

"You don't need to. What is important is that I did it."

"That's not important at all. You ate a pie. You don't like pie, yet you continue to eat it only 'Because it is there.' You sound like a complete idiot."

"Maybe I am."

"No, you definitely are."

"Fine. I am an idiot."

(This is a transcript of a random train of thought that just happened to occur while I was writing this blog entry. I don't necessarily believe any of the things said, nor do they reflect my normal thoughts or actions.)